For The PEOPLE Without A PURPOSE and Feeling LOST in LIFE
For a few years now I’ve been struggling with what to do with my life and what is that I should be dedicating my time to. Basically, what is it worth pursuing?
Since I was a kid, I wanted to find my place in the world. First it was in relation to my groups of friends and school, but then this this feeling grew bigger. By the time I was around 20, I wanted to discover what I should be doing with my life and where did I fit in the overall scheme of things.
And speaking with people, it seemed that this is not just a personal doubt but an ongoing theme in life – even though some of us don’t explicitly mention it.
Why Do We Even Ask That Question?
It looks like there’s an inherent force within us that’s craving for a mission in life, a purpose to which we can throw our energies and power into. Unfortunately, life – for many of us – didn’t come with a manual or instruction.
We are thrown into this world without any directions to follow and schools don’t do a good job to guide us in the right one. It’s like we are born with a feeling of discontent and being lost, not really knowing what the right thing to do is. And as we grow up, this sense becomes bigger and bigger.
I guess thousands of years ago we didn’t have time to think about this stuff. The only thing that mattered to our ancestors was surviving, hunting and praying the Gods for rain.
But now things have changed. Technology and society are taking care of almost all our survival needs – from security to healthy foods and clean water – which provided us a lot of free time. But I realized with time that this can be a blessing as well as a curse.
I used to watch a lot of TV and played hundreds of hours of videogames. But now that I look back, why did I waste so much time doing that? I could say that it was enjoyable, and I had fun, but is that the most honest-to-God answer?
Looking backwards and reflecting on this, I realized something that I was not expecting. I figured that by engaging in these types of activities, I distracted my mind from actually asking what I should be doing with my time and life. And most importantly, I realized that this was no different from what some adults did. Different strategy, same goal.
I was basically trying to bury this sense of insecurity and feeling lost in life by making myself busy with unimportant, irrelevant tasks. It was just a copying strategy that my mind used to keep me sane. But it really didn’t solve my core problem – a purpose for my life was still lacking.
The Battle Inside
There are two distinct and opposite forces inside ourselves that are constantly battling each other.
On the one hand, we have this instinctive preservation reflex. We want to survive, we want to choose the safe path and we hate insecurity, we don’t want to take any risks and we want to do what everybody else is doing. We don’t want to ask questions and we prefer a life of ignorance since the truth can be hard to swallow sometimes. We hate feeling lost, so we ignore it until it disappears. The problem is that it never does.
One the other hand, we have this part of ourselves that want to be alive, want to have a mission that is bigger than itself. It wants to contribute and create. It wants to love what it does and not just that but do it with pride. It wants to share and craves for adventure and uncertainty. It wants to choose a purpose for itself and pour its energy into it – give itself to it.
The problem when we ask what we should be doing with our lives and try to create a conscious purpose, is that we must shed light on some stuff that we would be better off avoiding. Questions like: “what is worth pursuing? Is it money, fame, recognition?”
Morality starts being an issue and we must ask “What is my responsibility regarding other human beings?, “what is the world needing right now and how could I best contribute to it?”. And since we are free to choose and nobody is feeding us the answer, questions like: “What do I really like doing?” Am I going to fail miserably, or will I succeed?” “Am I ready to handle this responsibility?” become apparent.
And that’s scary.
How To Deal With The Feeling Of Being Lost
My conclusion so far is that insecurity and feeling Lost is an inherent aspect of life – it just comes with the package. But that is not an excuse to be paralyzed and not to take action. Having a purpose, even though I might change it in a few years or months, is essential if I want to continue moving forward and grow.
So, if you feel lost and without a purpose like me, it would be nice if someone come and tell us, “CREATE ONE AND GIVE YOUR LIFE TO IT – because there’s nothing as powerful as that. And that where true joy resides.”
I believe It takes courage to stand up for a consciously chosen purpose whether that’s doing YouTube videos, becoming a politician or a taking beautiful photos. But it takes even more courage to stick with it and show up, consistently.
So now, although I might and will wake up with insecurities and doubts about myself and what I decided, although this path will be full of complications and frustrations it is what I’ve chosen – not what someone told me to.
It will be difficult, and nobody can assure us that we won’t fail, but neither they can if we choose the safe option.
I decided 3 years ago to create my own purpose and act despite the insecurity and doubt that I feel, in spite of people that tell me give it up.
I made this to remind my self that I must not give up and I must keep pushing, because I prefer to die standing up than to live on my knees, and I hope you do to.
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